Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Neglect

Dear Blog,

I feel I've been neglecting you a bit of late.  You know how it is this time of year - busy, busy, busy!  It's the kids' birthday parties that are really killing me.  I mean, don't get me wrong: I love that they have friends and all, but it's just gotten a little crazy in the last month.  All the indoor play centres and luridly coloured cakes are beginning to blur into one.  Last Saturday we had more than one party on the same day - it was like a conveyor belt of presents and sugar.  I was so exhausted after the first one (driving in an unfamiliar suburb, making small talk with other parents, making sure my child remembered his manners) that I collapsed for a nap upon returning home.  My husband woke me with a cup of tea about an hour later and reminded me I had to get the kids into their costumes and off to the next party pronto.  Madness.

And then there's been the Christmas preparations.  I've lost more than an hour today just looking at Lego!  And all the time there's the creeping guilt of knowing my kids don't actually need any more toys.  Feels outrageous to be buying even more stuff.  Plus I'm knee-deep in the Christmas lunch plans that need to be coordinated with my three sister-in-laws.  You can't just rock up to these things and hope someone remembers the ham, you know.

Thankfully, no one's noticed that I haven't prepared a nativity play for the Sunday School yet.  Let's just keep that our little secret, eh?

But if truth be told, dear blog, it was the reunion that messed me around the most.  I came home so full of memories and stories and people.  It kind of knocked the stuffing out of me.  I tried to process it all by writing that post: the one I wrote and posted and took down two minutes later.  I pressed publish and then realised in horror my mistake.  Somehow I forgot that my own story is mine to share but other people's lives - however obscurely referenced - were not mine to mess with.  And in the panic and regret afterwards, I felt too guilty to post much on you for a few days.

And then, if we want to get really serious, there's been the other stuff going on.  You know, with my mother-in-law being sick and my friend's sadness and the new job stuff.  And the anxiety about how next year will all pan out.  None of that within my control of course.  But it's been hard to concentrate.  I've just wanted to run away each evening and watch TV and forget the real world for a while.

Anyway, I'm sorry, dear blog.  I'll try to pull it together. You know I still care, don't you?  And I'm sure things will settle down again soon....

6 comments:

Karen said...

Hope things quieten down for you....although with Christmas approaching, I would say that's unlikely.

Know how you feel about blogging others' stuff. It's a fine line to walk sometimes. I think I probably step over it more often than I should...

Will pray for some peaceful times in the midst of the busy-ness :)

Anonymous said...

xxxxxx J

Petrina said...

You're not the only one with a neglected blog at the moment ;) I think it's the time of year for it. :)

Jean said...

We've all been there (posting, then panicking, then taking it down...). Hint from a blogger: if you ever do this again, delete the title and content and "update" it as an empty post before you delete it altogether. That way any RSS readers that collected it in their net with just show an empty post. Otherwise they can record the old post, even if no one can click on it. Hope that made sense!!

Deb said...

Oh, Jean! Thank you for that brilliant info!!! I wish I could say I don't think I'll ever need it, but I'm sure I'll stuff up again at some point. Foot in mouth disease... or is it foot in keyboard?

Sarah said...

That's a helpful tip, Jean. Thanks. Must remember that one.