Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The assassin

I love watching NCIS. Very much. And sometimes, after my husband and I have watched a couple of episodes on DVD, I’ll comment as we head to bed that I would like to be Ziva.
For those of you who haven’t experienced the joy that is NCIS, Ziva David is an Israeli-born operative who now works for the Navy Criminal Investigative Service.  The NCIS spends much of their time investigating the deaths of Navy personnel (“we’ve got a dead petty officer” is said pretty often) and this seems to allow them to also engage in fighting terrorists, drug-cartels, serial killers and doing the occasional bit of super-spy work and espionage. Why do they get to do all this instead of leaving it to the FBI or CIA?  I’m glad you asked.  It is clear to all viewers that they are by far the superior investigators and the other guys will only botch key evidence or fail to grasp the full importance of certain clues.  It’s just better if the other guys get out of the way and leave it to Gibbs and his team.

Anyway, back to Ziva.

Apart from the moral question of whether I should really want to be a skilled Israeli assassin, there are a few other things that stand in the way of my goal of being just like Ziva.  Not so much her extraordinary fitness level, superior skill in hand-to-hand combat or great hair.  It’s more like the facts that I get easily spooked in the dark, have never handled a gun and don’t like tight spaces.  But I think my main problem is that I’m rubbish at subterfuge.

I don’t mean that I can’t lie, pretend to like someone I don’t, or be a hypocrite.  Sadly, those things I can do well enough.  No, I mean the kind of subterfuge that’s required for things like buying birthday presents for your spouse and then not letting on that you went to a certain hardware shop and bought a certain power-tool.  Firstly, once I’ve bought a great present, I desperately want to tell them how clever I was to think of it and yet there are still 3.5 weeks to go and I have to hold my tongue.  Or, even if I have the self-control aspect down, I am well known for stupidly bringing it up in conversation.  “Do you think we could put more shelves up in the bathroom?  I saw some on special when I went to Mitre 10 today.”  Oops.

So Ziva, I ain’t.

Which is why this blog is a problem.  My plan was that I would start the blog and not say anything to anyone about it until I had a few posts down and felt like I knew what I was doing and wasn’t embarrassing myself.  But Ben and Caroline managed to find me in less than half a day!  And the number of times in half a day I absentmindedly almost said something about “my blog” in conversation was ridiculous.

I'm going to try to keep quiet just a little bit longer. Just until this doesn't seem so scary. It's what Ziva would do.  Or maybe Tony ... but that's a post for another day.  Now I'm off to buy a long black trench coat and some dark glasses.


Karen said...

Found you too!! Yay, so exciting!! Can't wait to read more of your stuff :)

Ben McLaughlin said...

Karen, how good are we? the peer pressure totally worked.

Deb, if there's one thing I've learned in my years of blogging, if someone suddenly springs up with a new fancy profile picture, they may well be up to something. A superslueth like myself develops an eye for these things.

Caroline said...

I checked your profile for a similar reason to Ben - you'd changed your name from "Deb L" to just "Deb".

Deb said...

See? I'm totally not able to pull of subterfuge. But as long as it's just the four of us, it'll be okay.

Karen said...

Yep, it was the new pic and new name that had me checking as well.

Ben, I was so excited to find this. Hooray for peer pressure.

My words of wisdom for the beginning blogger....you're going to stuff up sometimes with what you say or how you say it. But the world of the internet has such a short attention span, this time next week it won't matter :)

I was going to put a link to your blog on mine (I know it doesn't get a lot of traffic). But I'll hold back for a bit longer. I wonder if Simone will find you?

Wendy said...

Welcome to the blogging world Deb! We love NCIS too. Just a bit sad about Kate, but Ziva is a totally different character. I love it that Tony has a lot of difficulty figuring her out!

Deb said...

Hey, thanks for your welcome, Wendy. The zing between Ziva and Tony is a great part of the show, isn't it?